


i gave you everything (and it's a beautiful crime)

by zhangjunftw



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: It angsty, M/M, Reincarnation AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2020-10-21 02:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20686091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhangjunftw/pseuds/zhangjunftw
Summary: "For your crimes, I strip you of your magic and exile you. For your betrayal, I place this curse: you will be there to watch him die in every single one of his lives after this one, and there will be nothing that anyone can do to stop death from claiming her victim."#065 Yanjun pisses off a deity, and as punishment, he is forced to relieve Zhangjing dying in different alternate realities again and again, stuck in an eternal loop. and it doesn't stop until he accepts that he won't be able to save the other boy.





	1. Chapter 1

[the beginning - year XX01]

"We have all been blessed with the ability to see and manipulate the magical energy in this world. However, not all beings in this world can do the same, and it is imperative that you are not caught using magic outside home. Your task for today is to cast a simple spell - but you must avoid detection by any mortals." Li Ronghao said calmly, taking in the variety of expressions on his students' faces.

Ziyi's expression was thoughtful, but he looked more interested in the mortals themselves rather than today's task. (Not that Ronghao could blame him, it was his first time in the human realm, after all.) Zhengting looked concerned about what kind of illusion spell he could maintain without getting caught, but Ronghao caught the mischievous glint in his eyes.

Yanjun, on the other hand... The oldest of his three students was entirely disinterested in the day's lesson, an irritated expression on his face as he glared around at everything around him. Ronghao suppressed a sigh at the annoyance practically rolling off the boy. Yanjun was the most magically adept out of the three of them, at least, so he would definitely be able to finish this simple task with ease. Hopefully, he wouldn't wipe out the entire human town as well.

"You have until sundown to complete your task."

* * *

Ziyi made it to the meeting point by mid-afternoon. Zhengting arrived an hour before the deadline, a sweet smell clinging to his robes.

It was not until after the sun set completely that Yanjun finally appeared. Yanjun waved off Zhengting and Ziyi's concerned questions, moving to stand before Ronghao. His eyes refuse to meet Ronghao's, stubbornly staring at a point on the grass by his feet.

"Lin Yanjun, you've missed the deadline." Ronghao said. "Do you have anything to say to defend yourself?"

"No" was Yanjun's short answer.

Ronghao nodded. "Very well. Then, you've failed today's lesson. You'll have to make it up some other day." He said carefully, watching Yanjun for his reaction.

A stiff nod was all the reaction he received. Yanjun's eyes remained fixed on the ground. "Understood." Yanjun said, bowing to Ronghao before walking past him.

Ronghao watched him go, chalking his behaviour up to embarrassment for being the only one to fail the day's class. Yes, that was probably it.

But then Yanjun failed again. And again.

By the third time, Ronghao was almost completely certain that Yanjun wasn't even trying to pass at all.

"Not a single drop of rain to be seen," Ronghao remarked as Yanjun made his way to the meeting point - a whole hour after the sun had set completely.

Yanjun offered a sheepish smile. "Sorry, teacher," he said, not sounding even the least bit sorry. "There wasn't any chance for me to cast a spell. Too many mortals around." Yanjun shrugged. "Maybe I'll have better luck next time."

Ronghao hummed, watching Yanjun with an unimpressed expression on his face. "So, when will the next lesson be?" Yanjun asked cheerfully.

"Your next lesson will be when you finally decide to take this seriously, instead of as an opportunity to slack off."

Yanjun stiffened at his words. Hah, caught you, Ronghao thought, as Yanjun shifted uneasily under his disapproving stare. "Until then," Ronghao continued. "There will be no more trips to the mortal realm. You will take this time to think about your actions, is that clear?"

"Yes, teacher." Yanjun sighed.

* * *

"No," Linkai said flatly. "I am not helping you sneak out."

"Oh, come on, Linkai!" Yanjun pleaded. "All I'm asking is that you distract the guards for a minute. Just one minute. You prank everyone all the time anyway!"

"Why are you suddenly so intent on going to the mortal realm?" Linkai asked.

Yanjun shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "Just felt like getting out of here for a while."

Linkai narrowed his eyes at him. "Oh really? You, who once proclaimed that there was nothing worth even sparing a second thought in the human realm, now you actually want to go there for no reason?" he asked dryly. "Yeah, I'm not buying it."

"Why are you being so persistent?" Yanjun groaned.

"Because I can." Linkai grinned. "Also, I want bragging rights of being the first person to know what inspired this sudden change of heart in Lin Yanjun."

Yanjun muttered something rude under his breath, and Linkai's grin only widened further.

"Alright, fine. But you can't tell anyone else." Yanjun hissed, moving closer to Linkai, who was starting to look far too pleased with himself for Yanjun's liking.

"I met someone."

* * *

Yanjun peeked out from behind the corner of the fabric shop, and there he was - standing behind the counter of his father's shop. Yanjun felt a grin spread across his face at the sight of the mortal boy.

Zhangjing was busy helping a customer with their order, allowing Yanjun the opportunity to make his way to the shop without being noticed by him.

"Okay, thank you for coming by!" he called after the leaving customer. Zhangjing turned, and that was when Yanjun stepped out, surprising the boy.

"Yanjun!" Zhangjing yelped, almost falling backwards. "You surprised me. How do you keep doing that?" he murmured, shaking his head in disbelief at Yanjun.

"A magician never reveals his secrets." Yanjun grinned. "Miss me?"

"Not really," Zhangjing said, pretending to be annoyed. "Where have you been? I haven't seen you around for the last couple of weeks."

"Things have been... a little busy at home." Li Ronghao had not been happy with him, assigning a whole bunch of assignments that Yanjun had to complete before Li Ronghao would consider bringing him out to the mortal realm again.

Zhangjing gave him a sympathetic smile. "Truth be told, I was starting to wonder if you'd forgotten about me already." he admitted.

Yanjun let out a laugh. "Me? Forget about you? How could that ever happen? You're the most interesting thing that's happened to me in the last fifty years."

Zhangjing rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "You know that eventually I'm going to figure out how old you really are, right?" he said.

"Why do you still need to figure it out if I've already told you how old I am?"

* * *

(Linkai did keep his word not to tell anyone, but looking back now, Yanjun wonders how he ever believed that he could have kept Zhangjing a secret forever.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nothing remains a secret forever.

The mortal realm wasn't so bad, Linong thought, watching a small child run past holding a colourful pinwheel in his hand, a frantic parent quickly following after. He'd only visited once before, when Zhengting had discovered mortal sweets and snuck them out to come and try some.

("I know you're all technically too young to be out here, so we'll keep this a secret between us, okay?" Zhengting whispered, a bright smile on his face as he passed out the beautiful, colourful balls made of sugar.)

But that had been months ago, and Linong had never had any reason to venture out into the mortal realm since then - not until now, at least, he thought. Although he still wasn't exactly sure why the three of them had to be hiding behind a low wall.

"Remind me again, what are we doing here?" Linong asked, glancing at the other two squatting beside him.

"Because Yanjun has been sneaking out into the mortal realm, and we are going to figure out why." Minghao replied, eyes burning with determination as he looked out at the people walking about on the streets.

"Hey look at the size of that hat," Chengcheng called, pointing at a man standing a fair distance from them. "I can't even see the mortal's face underneath it. Maybe we should get hats like that, then no one would be able to recognise us here."

"We don't have any... What is that thing called again? The thing that humans use to exchange for goods?" Linong asked, looking at Justin.

"Uh - money?"

"Yeah, that! We don't have any money, and I don't think that any mortal is going to give us those hats without money."

"Maybe I could charm them with my handsome looks?" Minghao suggested, gesturing at his face smugly.

"Yeah, I don't think that's going to work." Linong said dryly while Chengcheng snorted. "Anyway, we're surrounded by mortals, Chengcheng, who is going to recognise us here?" Linong asked.

"What are you three doing here?"

The three of them jumped at the sound of Yanjun's voice, turning to find an unamused Yanjun standing over them, eyes glaring at them underneath his large hat.

"Well, that definitely proves that I was right about the hat being big enough to prevent others from recognising our faces," Chengcheng gulped.

"Uh, wow, what a coincidence?" Linong offered weakly.

"Are you spying on me?" Yanjun asked, narrowing his eyes at them.

"No! Of course not!" Minghao laughed loudly. A little too loudly to be genuine. "What in the world would make you think that?"

"I have ears, Minghao." Yanjun said flatly. "None of you are supposed to be in the mortal realm without a chaperone, how did they let you past the gate - " Yanjun sighed in exasperation. "You know what, never mind."

Before any of them could ask him what he meant by that, Yanjun slammed a containment charm on the three of them, trapping them inside the small pouch. "What the hell, Lin Yanjun!" Chengcheng shouted, angrily waving his fist at Yanjun's face when he peered in through the opening. "Let us out!"

"Not a chance." Yanjun's voice echoed.

"This isn't fair! We're not children anymore, and we want to see the mortal realm!" Minghao yelled.

"You want to see the mortal realm? Fine." the walls of the pouch shimmered before turning invisible, allowing them to see their outside surroundings.

"That's not what we meant and you know it!" Minghao hollered.

"Stop yelling," Yanjun hissed, ignoring the confused look a mortal girl gave him as he walked past her. "You're giving me a headache. So stop before I put a silencer on you as well."

Minghao fumed, lashing out at the walls of the pouch around them, not that Yanjun could feel any of it anyway. Yanjun walked quickly down the street - it was a marketplace, Linong realised, looking at the stores as Yanjun walked past them, until one particular stall caught his eye.

"Yanjun," Linong called, receiving a grunt in reply. "Can you get us some of those mortal sweets?"

Yanjun paused, turning to the stall. A small crowd of children had gathered around a tall man, and as Yanjun neared the stall, Linong saw what they were all entranced by: he was crafting maltose lollipops. The man's hands moved quickly, forming pretty shapes with the maltose before it hardened completely.

"Okay, here you go, little miss," the man smiled at an excited little girl, who happily accepted the candy from him.

"Thank you, Wenjun-gege!" she cheered as her mother passed some coins to him.

"Come again anytime!" Wenjun called as she left. Wenjun turned to Yanjun, a smile on his face as he greeted him. "And how can I help you today?"

"I'll take three of those, please," Yanjun replied.

"Alright, please wait a moment." Wenjun said, getting to work.

"Wow, Yanjun, I didn't realise you had such a sweet tooth."

"I don't, Zhangjing. The candies are for - " Yanjun stiffened, belatedly realising what he had done. In the pouch, the three of them were practically scrambling over each other to take a look at this Zhangjing.

(And at that moment, Yanjun knew: he had messed up.)

Zhangjing looked at Yanjun, waiting for him to finish his sentence, completely oblivious to Yanjun's inner panic. "The candies are for...?"

"...for my, uh - " Yanjun swallowed. "For my brother, yeah. My brothers."

"Oh. You never told me you had siblings." Zhangjing remarked.

"You never asked." Yanjun replied, doing his best to ignore Minghao and Chengcheng's demands for him to let them out so they could properly meet Zhangjing. "What, what are you doing here?"

"Hm? Oh, I was going to get some candy from Wenjun. Since you said you were from another town, I thought I'd show you some of our town's traditional sweets. I didn't expect that you would have found Wenjun's shop on your own already." Zhangjing replied. "What are you getting?"

"Three lollipops," Wenjun answered for Yanjun.

"Oh, those are good." Zhangjing remarked. "I'll get a few other sweets for us to have later then." he turned to Wenjun, passing him a small list. "Do you think you can get these done for me by the end of the hour, Wenjun?"

Wenjun looked over the list quickly. "Yeah, sure, no problem, Zhangjing."

"Great, I'll come and collect them after I get Maotong's books from Honglin. I'll see you later, then, Yanjun!" Zhangjing paused, grabbing a small packet of colourful sugar candies from Wenjun's table and giving them to Yanjun. "Since you're getting candies for your brothers, you should get these too! They're Wenjun's specialty. He calls them sugar marbles. You can't get them anywhere else! "

("Does this count as bribery?" Chengcheng wondered out loud as he ate the lollipop. Yanjun had brought them back home, letting them out of the pouch and swearing all three of them to secrecy before giving them the candies.

"Whatever it is, did he really think any of us was going to tell anyone about that?" Minghao muttered. "If we told anyone, we'd have to reveal that we had broken the rules ourselves, going down without a chaperone. I'm pretty sure that's guaranteed a worse punishment than simply having a friendship with a mortal."

Linong did not say anything about how he was fairly certain that Yanjun did not look at friends with that kind of look in his eyes.

(None of them noticed the way Zhengting's eyes seemed to mist over at the sight of the colourful sugar marbles.)

* * *

[present time - year X25X]

Zhengting was already waiting outside of the café when Yanjun's shift ended, an apologetic smile on his face and a packet of multicoloured candy as a peace offering.

"I'm still not forgiving you for almost setting my apartment on fire." Yanjun said, accepting the candy nonetheless.

"In my defence, I'm still figuring out how to use your oven." Zhengting sighed, picking at the bandages on his hands. Yanjun placed his hand over Zhengting's, stopping him from messing with the bandages.

"How did he react to that?" Yanjun asked.

"About as well as anyone who gets told that the person in front of them almost caused an oven to explode," Zhengting replied with a chuckle at the memory of the how frantic the taller boy had been.

(Two centuries and how many reincarnations later - and Wenjun was still the same person he had been all those years ago.)

They stopped at the crossing, waiting for the lights to change. There were hardly any cars around at this hour, but Zhengting's grip on Yanjun's arm was tight. So they waited.

"How did you do it?"

Yanjun's voice was soft, but Zhengting heard it anyway.

* * *

_(Maintaining an illusion had always come easy to him, but maintaining an illusion over his body? That was challenging, and if his concentration slipped even a little bit, then it would all crumble to pieces._

_A quick glance at a stall's mirror confirmed that the magic was still working - the visage of a young maiden stared back at him. It was good practice, Zhengting told himself, gripping the parasol handle as he carefully walked down the street._

_((What had drawn him to that stall? The sweet scent of its wares, the laughter of children - some days, Zhengting might even joke that it was because of the handsome face of said candy-crafter._

_But if he allows himself to tell the truth, the answer will be that it was the magic of the candy-crafter's hands that had prompted him to enter that store at all.))_

_Mortals had no magic - of that Zhengting was certain. But he had no other name for how the young mortal's hands created his edible masterpieces._

_How else could Bi Wenjun, mere mortal, young candy-craftsman, have caused his heart to race with just his soft gentle smile?_

_"I call them sugar marbles," Wenjun said as Zhengting admired the colourful little sugar balls._

_"They're beautiful." Zhengting remarked._

_"Just like you." Wenjun blurted out, and Zhengting almost dropped the candy in his hand. Wenjun's ears were scarlet, and he refused to meet Zhengting's eyes, looking everywhere but at -_

_Out of the corner of his eye, Zhengting's reflection in the mirror refused to go ignored._

* * *

_Zhengting hadn't heard him coming. Wenjun had snuck up behind him, tapping him on the shoulder. When Zhengting turned around to face him, Wenjun had leaned forward, pressing his lips to Zhengting's._

_Zhengting's mind blanked._

_It was barely a second, but that second's break in concentration was all it took._

_Wenjun pulled away, eyes wide open. He stared at Zhengting - really seeing him for the first time:_

_"Who are you?"_

_Zhengting didn't think. He simply reacted._

_"You never saw me," Zhengting hissed, the words of the spell spilling past his lips in an uncontrollable stream, hand covering Wenjun's eyes. "You never met me. Everything about me - I erase from your mind."_

_Slowly, Zhengting removed his hand from Wenjun's face. His eyes were closed - in a few moments, he would wake up. But for now, he was asleep, and he would remember nothing when he woke._

_"I'm so sorry," Zhengting whispered. "Please forgive me.")_

* * *

Zhengting let out a long sigh, adjusting his grip on Yanjun's arm. "I did it because I had to," Zhengting said, popping a piece of candy into his mouth. "Any feelings Wenjun might have had for me were based on a lie. Once that foundation fell apart, there was nothing else to be done."

The light turned green, the man on the opposite side of the road looked up, and Yanjun's eyes met the all too familiar eyes of You Zhangjing for the first time, all over again.

"But maybe, this time it will be different." Zhengting said softly. For himself or for Yanjun, Yanjun had no idea.


	3. Chapter 3

[year XX01]

Linong did try to stop him from finding out, and Xukun had to give him credit for trying: but Xukun was their leader. Once he'd known what to look for, figuring out the rest was easy enough.

And if it only took following Yanjun down to the mortal realm for one trip for Xukun to figure it out, then Xukun did not want to think - he did not even want to imagine how long it would be before someone else, someone not so close to them, someone closer to Him, figured it out and decided to run and tell him -

Yanjun was exactly where he expected to find him: tucked away in his study, door wide open and unlocked. Xukun strode into the room, not bothering to knock. "What were you thinking, Yanjun?" Xukun hissed.

"Good morning to you too, Xukun," Yanjun drawled. "Nice to see you so early in the day, and I have no idea what you're so angry about."

"I saw you, Yanjun. In the mortal realm," Xukun pressed on, watching as Yanjun tensed ever so slightly at his words. "Together with that mortal. And don't insult me by trying to deny it and insist that I'm wrong, I know what I saw!"

"Stop shouting," Yanjun said through grit teeth. "The door is still open."

Xukun reached behind him, practically slamming the door shut. "What were you thinking?" Xukun asked again. "You weren't even hiding or taking any precautions - walking right out in the open like that with him. Do you not realise how easy it was to see you? Yanjun, we aren't allowed to be with mortals - "

Yanjun sighed, clearly irritated. "Yes, Xukun, I remember His cardinal rule very clearly, He's repeated that many, many times. You can rest assured that He's made sure to impress that on me even in the eons before you came into existence." Yanjun snapped, waving his hands about in exasperation. Only then did Xukun notice the scroll on the table, the scroll that Yanjun had been reading before Xukun had come in.

The script on that scroll was definitely not written in any of their languages. "This is from the mortal realm." Xukun said faintly.

Yanjun shifted uncomfortably as Xukun's gaze moved from the scroll to Yanjun's face. "Lin Yanjun, have you lost your mind?" Xukun snarled. "Sitting in here, door wide open, reading a scroll from the mortal realm, something that shouldn't even be here - anyone could have walked into this room, anyone could have seen you holding this - what would you do if they decided to go straight to Him and report you for this?"

"Alright, fine, I messed up!" Yanjun exploded. "I am aware what consequences might await me if I'm discovered. In case you've forgotten, I've lived for much longer than you, Cai Xukun, so you can stop treating me like a child!"

"Then act like it, and maybe then I won't have to, Lin Yanjun!" Xukun retorted. "What are you doing with this mortal, Yanjun? Don't tell me you actually - "

"I don't know!"

Xukun stopped. He stared at Yanjun, at the conflicted expression on Yanjun's face. He thought of the expression he had seen on Yanjun's face, in the mortal realm, the happiness and contentment radiating off of him as he had laughed with the mortal boy, and the look in Yanjun's eyes as he'd looked at the mortal -

"No." Xukun breathed. "No, this cannot be happening."

* * *

  
[year XX52]

Not again, Xukun sighed from his position on the rooftop, looking down at the oblivious couple in the garden below him. There they were again, having another 'secret meeting' - as though everyone close to the prince hadn't already figured out what was going on. Xukun had to commend the prince's people for their dedication and determination to keep up the oblivious charade for their prince's sake: he was one more close call away from just stepping in himself and smacking some common sense into Yanjun's head.

But then again, if Yanjun had ever had any common sense when it came to the mortal known as You Zhangjing - well. None of them would be stuck with this punishment, now would they?

Xukun saw the would-be assassin before he heard the tell-tale rustle of leaves as she shifted, adjusting her position to get a better shot. At who, now that was hard to tell, considering how close they were to each other.

Xukun raised his crossbow, firing it at the assassin's direction.

He may have been forbidden from preventing You Zhangjing's death, but saving Lin Yanjun's life was another issue entirely.

* * *

  
Yanjun found Xukun at the stables afterwards, as he always did. "How is your mortal?" Xukun asked.

"Safe." was Yanjun's curt answer.

Xukun let out a dry laugh. "All these years and you still don't trust us."

"I trust the others just fine." Yanjun retorted. "Most of them, at least." he muttered, bitterness clear.

"How many times do I have to tell you before you believe that I am not here to kill your precious mortal?" Xukun asked, suddenly feeling tired. "It's been years, Yanjun. Let it go."

Yanjun stared at him, his face carefully blank. "You saved his life today." he said finally. "I didn't know that that was allowed."

"It's not." Xukun said lightly.

"So why did you do it?"

"Would you even believe me if I told you?" Xukun wondered out loud. Yanjun's silence was deafening. "You can't save him, Yanjun. Just because once in a while there might be loopholes here and there doesn't mean that you can run away from this forever."

"He's a mortal, Lin Yanjun." Xukun repeated the same words that he had once told Yanjun, back before everything that had happened had happened, back when they were still young, standing inside a study room in their home - oh, what Xukun wouldn't do to be able to go back to that time.

"He is mortal, and he will die."

* * *

(Xukun runs out of loopholes to exploit, and Prince Zhangjing runs out of time. As always.)

The golden brand on Yanjun's chest gleamed even underneath all the blood that Yanjun spilled from the throats of those responsible.

Xukun was no better, not an inch of white could be seen on his once pristine shirt, soaked through as it was with scarlet. "That's all of them," Xukun said, glancing around at the bodies - twenty assassins. A feat, truly, for so many hands to be needed to get rid of just one prince. "You killed all of them. You avenged him. Now let's go."

"I didn't kill all of them." Yanjun hissed. "You shot that one before I got the chance to rip his heart out."

"His sword almost cut you in half." Xukun said. "I don't doubt your regenerative abilities exceed that of a normal mortal, but that doesn't mean you can't be killed, Yanjun."

"Then why won't you let me?"

_Because your mortal cornered me and forced an oath to protect you out of me. Because I'm supposed to be your leader, it's always going to be my responsibility to take care of you -_

_Because you're my brother._

But Xukun's lips remain stubbornly sealed, and Yanjun never hears any of that.


	4. Chapter 4

[present time - year X25X]

Three days had passed since Yanjun's first meeting with Zhangjing. Three stress-filled days of Yanjun watching this latest incarnation of Zhangjing, expecting the worst to happen at any moment. Yanjun had done his best to avoid him, but it seemed that fate was stubborn: wherever he went, Zhangjing was there.

Even now, seated at his usual table in his favourite café: one look outside the window, and there You Zhangjing was, looking at books in the opposite bookshop.

Yanjun was really starting to wonder if Zhangjing was actually following him around, because even for fate this was getting ridiculously out of hand.

"Keep staring at him like that and you just might burn a hole in the glass, Yanjun."

Yanjun let out a yelp of surprise, nearly falling out of his chair, if not for Minghao's hand grabbing Yanjun's arm and pulling him back. Yanjun swore, wide eyes glaring at the innocently smiling Minghao who definitely had not been sitting in that chair ten seconds ago. "Where did you pop out from?" Yanjun demanded.

"From your heart," Minghao replied cheekily.

Yanjun breathed in deeply through his nose, overcome by a sense of pride because the delivery of that line was _flawless_, but at the same time, the urge to smack Minghao had never been stronger.

"Brat," Yanjun said finally. "What are you doing here?"

"Just here to watch the show," Minghao said, taking a sip of Yanjun's tea before Yanjun could stop him. "So, Zhengting said you met him days ago. What have you learned about him so far?"

Yanjun sighed. "All I know is that he just moved into an apartment in the same block as mine."

"Really? That's all?" Minghao asked, clearly disappointed. "I thought you'd have known that he's a lecturer at Qiyi University. I forgot what's the proper word, but well. He's an expert in mortal history."

"Oh."

Minghao nodded. "So don't worry, you're not going to bore him with your old people mannerisms, his entire career is built on the practices of ancient civilians like you - "

Yanjun reached over, pulling Minghao into a headlock. "Okay! Okay! I'm sorry for disrespecting my elders! Please have mercy on this child!" Minghao yelped. Yanjun gave him a final smack on his behind before releasing him.

"You're lucky I don't have my powers anymore," Yanjun grumbled under his breath.

Minghao pouted at Yanjun. "Don't say that.

"What, you want to walk around with a rain cloud over your head for a week?" Yanjun said dryly.

"No," Minghao said quickly. "I just wish you had your powers back, then you could come home with us."

Yanjun fell silent at Minghao's words, focusing on the cup in his hand as Minghao fidgeted in his seat at the uncomfortable silence.

"That place is no longer my home, Minghao," Yanjun said, finishing his tea. "It's going to rain. I'm going to head back, I think I left some laundry out."

"Be careful," Minghao called as Yanjun walked past him. "Today is not the day for shortcuts."

Yanjun glanced back from the doorway of the café, but Minghao had already disappeared, leaving the teapot and the two empty cups on the table.

The rain started to fall the moment Yanjun stepped outside. He took a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of the light droplets on his skin. (This used to be his job, before Zhangjing and everything else happened - who was in charge of calling down the rains now?)

Yanjun snapped out of his thoughts as a grapefruit patterned umbrella appeared over his head, blocking him from the rain. Yanjun looked down, and there he was: You Zhangjing, offering him a smile - the very same smile that had enraptured Lin Yanjun during his first encounter with the mortal, how many centuries ago.

"Hello again."

(How had Yanjun managed to fool himself into believing that he could hold back from falling in love with You Zhangjing when all it takes is a smile for all those feelings to come rushing back?)

* * *

[the beginning - year XX01]

"Your task for today is to cast a simple spell - but you must avoid detection by any mortals. You have until sundown to complete your task."

Yanjun scowled, angrily kicking out at an unlucky pebble on the road, sending it flying. Why did the teachers all insist that they interact with the mortals? He just couldn't understand it: his ancestors were the ones who had created this realm, and that ancient magic had trickled down to their descendants to continue the work of caring for the realm. Mortals were simply the result of a particularly bored Creator looking for other uses of his magic - they were just another creation, yet they seemed to fancy themselves the centre of the universe.

Worse of all, they had forgotten the roots of their creation; they had renounced the very magic that had created them - sent Yanjun and the others into hiding because of their fear of the unknown and what they couldn't control.

Yanjun had caught the wary look Li Ronghao had given him when he had given his instructions. If Yanjun drowned the mortal town, he had absolutely no doubt that he would be in trouble for months to come.

But that was okay, he would be satisfied with causing a small flood, Yanjun thought to himself as he stepped out of the trees. The river splashed happily as if greeting the young immortal, inviting him into the cold waters' embrace. Yanjun smiled, about to start the incantation when he heard something - or, more accurately, someone. A voice, singing words to a song that Yanjun didn't recognise - it must be a mortal, because Yanjun did not know any immortal to have a gift like that.

But surely, no mere mortal could have such a beautiful voice, Yanjun thought to himself as he found his feet moving, taking him towards the source of the enchanting melody.

But it didn't matter what Yanjun thought, because there he was: kneeling by the roots of a tree, harvesting some medicinal plants. So focused on his task was he that he didn't even notice Yanjun watching him, not until Yanjun stepped on a dry branch. The crack sound echoed around them, and the mortal whirled around in surprise.

They stared at each other in silence; Yanjun silently freaking out in his head, doing his best to control his expression so the mortal couldn't see how Yanjun was definitely panicking over what to do next, because getting seen by a mortal had not been a part of his plans for the day.

The mortal stared at him, eyes wide. Yanjun could see his own uncertainty reflected in the mortals eyes as he tried to decide whether the stranger standing before him was a threat he could outrun or not.

He looked like a scared little rabbit, Yanjun thought, a cute, harmless little rabbit.

Nothing that Yanjun had to be afraid of.

Feeling emboldened by this realisation, Yanjun took a step forward: "Hello."

"How long have you been standing there?" the mortal demanded.

"Not very long," Yanjun replied. "Were you the one who was singing?"

His face turned red, to Yanjun's confusion. "I'm sorry, I didn't know there was anyone else out in these woods, I didn't mean to cause a disturbance - "

"No, you weren't a disturbance." Yanjun interrupted. "You have a very beautiful voice. Are you sure you're a human?"

He stared incredulously at Yanjun. "Of course I'm a human, what else could I be?" he asked.

Yanjun shrugged. "An angel?"

He snorted, bursting into laughter. "If I'm an angel, then what would you be?" 

"A rain spirit, obviously," Yanjun said easily. The mortal clearly didn't believe him, if the way he shook his head in amusement was any indication.

"What name do you call yourself then, Mister rain spirit?" The mortal asked.

"Yanjun." he replied, surprising himself with how easily he had surrendered his name. "You may call me Yanjun."

"Alright. It's nice to meet you, Yanjun." Zhangjing smiled - were smiles supposed to be so blindingly bright, Yanjun wondered.

No, Yanjun thought, there must be something special about this particular mortal, and he was going to find out what it was.


	5. Chapter 5

After that walk home together sharing Zhangjing's umbrella, any reasons that Yanjun might have had to stay away from Zhangjing became useless: there was no way of avoiding a Zhangjing insistent on befriending you.

(There was no way for Yanjun to not fall in love again.)

Zhangjing was indeed a university lecturer as Minghao had said, and Yanjun became a regular presence on campus grounds, visiting during lunch hour to get lunch together with Zhangjing.

"You know, I've had five students approach me asking me for your number in the last week. I'm pretty sure that's a new record." Zhangjing remarked. "I don't think I've even seen that last girl in any of my classes before."

Yanjun bit back a laugh at Zhangjing's exasperated expression. "And what did you tell them?"

"That you're older than you look and definitely way out of their league?" Zhangjing rolled his eyes. "Is there any other reply you'd rather I use the next time Caroline from the Faculty of Computer Science comes over to badger me for your phone number?"

"Well," Yanjun hummed, reaching for Zhangjing's hand. "How about telling them I'm already spoken for?" he said, pressing a light kiss to the back of Zhangjing's hand.

Zhangjing's face reddened, and Yanjun thought he heard something that sounded like a disappointed wail in the background, but he didn't care about that, because Zhangjing was rambling about how could Yanjun just do that without any kind of warning and: "So help me, Lin Yanjun, I will smack that smirk off of your face,_ stop looking so smug, damn you_."

The worker at the counter called out their table number then, and Zhangjing quickly got up to collect their order from the counter. Yanjun watched as he walked off, face still adorably red and flustered - oh, how Yanjun enjoyed riling him up, his reactions were as adorable as always -

"Could you get any more gross, Yanjun? I think I threw up a little in my mouth watching the both of you."

For the second time in a month, Yanjun found himself nearly toppling out of his chair. "Can you _not_?" he hissed, barely catching himself in time. "By Creation do I rue the day Linkai taught the both of you that trick," Yanjun growled, glaring at the cheeky boy sitting next to him.

"Sorry," Chengcheng said, not sounding the least bit sorry.

"What are you doing here?" Yanjun sighed.

"Came for lunch, duh. Can I borrow ten bucks?" Chengcheng asked.

"No." Yanjun said flatly.

"Boo." Chengcheng grumbled. "How long has it been since we last saw each other? Twenty years? Twenty-five?"

"Don't be ridiculous, it hasn't been that long." Yanjun said. "What have you been up to in the mortal realm?"

"Oh, I got a job - "

"Fan Chengcheng, you'd better not be trying to hit on my b - my friend!" Zhangjing corrected himself quickly, to Yanjun's slight disappointment.

"Are you sure you're just friends? I didn't realise friends kissed each others hands like that." Chengcheng mimicked the way Yanjun had kissed Zhangjing's hand earlier, and Zhangjing's face burned red again.

"Fan Chengcheng, you little brat - "

"'How about telling them I'm already spoken for?'" Chengcheng echoed Yanjun's words, cackling loudly when Yanjun reached over and pulled him into a headlock. "Ah, mercy! Mercy!"

("So, how do you know Chengcheng?" Zhangjing asked later on their walk home. It was raining again, but under Zhangjing's grapefruit patterned umbrella, they remained dry.

"Chengcheng is my brother," Yanjun replied.

"Oh," Zhangjing looked at him, surprised. "I didn't know you had a brother."

"Brothers, actually." Yanjun corrected him, their faces flashing in his mind, his expression dropping briefly as the last face came to mind.

(Someday, perhaps, he would be able to call him brother again.)

Yanjun turned to Zhangjing, a soft smile on his face: "Maybe someday I'll be able to introduce them to you.")

* * *

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'll hold you to that promise, Zhangjing." Yanjun said.

Zhangjing smiled, walking off to his own apartment unit down the hallway. Yanjun watched until Zhangjing was safely inside his own apartment before closing the door.

"Hello, Yanjun."

Yanjun whirled around as the lights in his apartment lit up, revealing a figure seated comfortably on his sofa, as if this was his own house. "It's been a while," Xukun greeted.

"How the hell did you get in here?" Yanjun demanded, staring at him in shock.

"Picked the lock, obviously. You live on the fifteenth floor, climbing up the side of the building is not exactly an option without magic." Xukun replied, getting up. "And since you're still clearly not giving up on your mortal any time soon, neither of us is going to be using magic for the foreseeable future." he said nonchalantly, taking a container from the shelf.

Yanjun watched as his hands opened the container, the light reflecting off the silver markings running around Xukun's wrists, markings only visible to their kind.

_("A leader who fails to keep his members on the correct path must also pay the price for the sins of those he is responsible for.")_

"Nice house, by the way. Much better than that last place. Great location too, you're just a short walk away from town," Xukun said. "Must be great to also live right across the hallway from your precious mortal."

Yanjun snapped to attention at that, narrowing his eyes at Xukun in suspicion. "Oh, don't look at me like that," Xukun protested. "I heard the two of you talking at the door."

"How did you even know where I lived, Xukun?"

"Zhengting told me he was staying with you for a while, asked me to come visit."

"Zhengting moved out three weeks ago, you're a little late." Yanjun said dryly. "What are you really doing here?"

Xukun sighed, shaking his head. "As suspicious as ever, I see." he remarked, walking into Yanjun's kitchen. "Any ice cream in here?" he asked while opening the fridge.

"Xukun."

"Relax, Yanjun," Xukun chided. "If I was really here to kill You Zhangjing, I wouldn't be waiting for you in your apartment; I would have been in his apartment." he scooped out a generous helping of ice cream from the container, dividing it among two bowls. Passing one of the bowls to Yanjun, Xukun continued: "Also, I'm forbidden from messing with fate, remember?" 

"Didn't stop you from slitting his throat and killing him the first time he came back," Yanjun said tightly.

Xukun looked down. "No, it didn't." he said. "But I only did it because I thought it would be better for you if you didn't form any attachment to him before he had to die."

(That wasn't the only reason why he killed him and everyone knew it. An immortal deprived of his home, of his magic, of his very birth-right -

Desperation was capable of driving people to unimaginable lengths.

Yanjun, of all people, understood that much.)

"I know. Worst still, I understand." Yanjun said. "Still doesn't mean I forgive you for it."

Xukun nodded. "That's fair. I still haven't forgiven you for getting us disgraced and banished either." he said. "Anyway, I'm not here to chat with you about that."

"Then what, you're here to raid my fridge?" Yanjun joked.

"Unfortunately, no, that's not the only reason I'm here," Xukun sighed. "I'm here to tell you that Ziyi is also here."

* * *

[year X101]

"I have something to show you," Zhangjing had whispered to Yanjun, in a voice low enough that the stuffy old priest couldn't pick up. "Meet me at the West Wing in three hours."

Yanjun glanced at Zhangjing. "Are you sure you won't get in trouble for showing it to me?"

"You've been here for almost three months now, I'm sure the priests won't mind." Zhangjing rose to his feet, keeping his head low as he left the Hall of Enlightenment. Yanjun watched out of the corner of his eye as the heavy double doors closed shut behind the young priest-in-training, and let out a soft sigh - with Zhangjing gone, there wasn't much else he could distract himself with in this beautiful room: the murals, a master's depiction of what the realm of gods would look like. The lines of scripture lining the walls told stories of the greatness of benevolent deities and all the good they had done for this world.

What would these mortals do, if they knew the truth about their glorified gods? What would they do, if they knew that one of the great immortal gods they worshipped, sat amidst them in this very temple, cursed, banished and the symbol of his disgrace engraved on his chest?

" - Praise be to our Lord, may He continue to watch over us with His mercy, hallowed be His name, Yang."

A chorus of voices, young and old, echoed the old priest. Yanjun swallowed back the bitter taste of shame and slipped out of the Hall.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little fluff

[present time - year X25X]

"Can you bring me something to eat?"

"Why, are the shops closed?" Yanjun asked.

"No, they're open, but I can't really leave my office right now?" even over the phone, Yanjun could hear Zhangjing's sheepish tone. "Professor Wang just came back from his trip and he passed some of the stuff he found to me, and if I leave now, I'm going to forget where I left off and I'll have to start right from the beginning again, and that's going to take forever."

"Why not call takeout, then?" Yanjun said, even as he got up and put his coat and shoes on.

"Isn't that what I'm doing right now?" Zhangjing joked. "Calling Lin Yanjun's special takeout service."

Yanjun laughed, already walking out the door. "Okay then, I'll be there in half an hour, try not to pass out before that."

* * *

"Hey, you're here," Zhangjing greeted as Yanjun entered his office.

Yanjun held up the bag in his hand. "Kimchi fried rice and your favourite seasoned fried chicken wings, as you wished."

"You're the best," Zhangjing grinned, before blinking in confusion when Yanjun held it just out of his reach.

"Payment first." Yanjun said, a teasing smile on his face.

Zhangjing huffed, reaching for his wallet. Yanjun shook his head, pushing Zhangjing's money away. "For Lin Yanjun's special takeout services, the price will be," Yanjun paused dramatically: "A kiss!"

Zhangjing snorted in amusement at Yanjun's childish antics, but still pressed a quick kiss to Yanjun's lips when Yanjun leaned forward. "And that's all you're getting, Lin Yanjun." he said, ignoring the other's pout.

"So," Yanjun glanced at the pile of papers and old diaries on Zhangjing's desk. "Is this what your colleague brought back from his expedition?"

"Yeah - oh! I have something to show you," Zhangjing said, grabbing Yanjun's hand. Yanjun allowed him to be pulled along as Zhangjing led him to another room. "Professor Wang isn't in right now, but he's not going to be mad about this, don't worry."

Zhangjing pushed the door open, and Yanjun's throat runs dry at the sight that greets him.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Zhangjing asked. Yanjun nodded mutely, unable to take his eyes off of the set of midnight blue robes displayed on the mannequin.

(Zhangjing spinning around in front of a mirror, showing off the elegant formal robes he's wearing - the symbols of his religious order, embroidered in silver thread, shimmer in the light. 

Yanjun, distracted as he was by how good the colour looks on Zhangjing, barely hears what Zhangjing is saying: " - these are the robes I'll be wearing for my Ascension ceremony - ")

"The original robes of Ascension for priests of the Order of Yang," Zhangjing declared, as Yanjun struggled to keep himself grounded in the present. "Well, the design of it, at least. This is only a replica, so you can touch them, they're not going to fall apart if you do."

("Here," Zhangjing guided Yanjun's hand to feel the sleeve. "Feel how smooth this fabric is - ")

Yanjun clenched his fist, willing the memories to leave his mind as he shook his head at Zhangjing. "No, it's okay. It's really beautiful, truly a well-made replica." he said, forcing a smile for Zhangjing.

"For a moment, I almost thought it was the real thing."

* * *

"Zhangjing, it's getting late," Yanjun said, fingers gently carding through Zhangjing's hair, getting the other's attention. "You need to rest."

"Let me finish this diary first?" Zhangjing's plea broke off into a yawn. "I'm almost done."

"That's what you said an hour ago, baobei," Yanjun reminded.

"But there's only fifteen pages left," Zhangjing couldn't keep the whine out of his voice, blinking tired eyes up at Yanjun.

Yanjun chuckled, shaking his head. "You can barely keep your eyes open as it is." he gently pried the old book out of Zhangjing's hands, ignoring the other's half-hearted protests. "Come on, it's time to go home."

Zhangjing let out a sigh, reluctantly accepting his coat from Yanjun and following him as Yanjun led him out of the office, and out of the building, onto the road they always took home. It wasn't raining tonight, Zhangjing noted, but there was a nice breeze, not too cold, but cool enough that Yanjun had a reason to stick closer to Zhangjing as they walked together.

(Not that Zhangjing needed a reason for Yanjun to hold his hand like this, of course.)

"Good thing we live so near the university," Zhangjing yawned. "I feel like I'm about to fall asleep on my feet."

"Well, if you had listened to me when I suggested we leave - "

"I'm so tired and you still want to lecture me," Zhangjing grumbled. "What kind of boyfriend are you, Lin Yanjun?"

Yanjun laughed at Zhangjing's sulky expression. "What, would you rather I act like one of those drama leads? What's the name of the male lead of that drama you've been watching lately, Evan?"

"Evan would never tease me like this," Zhangjing grumbled.

Yanjun stopped then, and Zhangjing turned to look at Yanjun, confusion on his face. "Yanjun, we're in the middle of the road, why did you stop - "

"You said you were tired, right?" Yanjun bent down, gesturing for Zhangjing to climb on.

"...I was just joking, but alright then." Zhangjing said. "You sure your twig back won't break from my weight?"

A surprised yelp left Zhangjing as Yanjun straightened up easily, continuing the walk home as though Zhangjing wasn't clinging to his back like a koala. "Who's a twig now, huh?" Yanjun said, grinning at Zhangjing.

"Eyes on the road - you'd better not trip and fall, Lin Yanjun. I don't want to get dropped."

"Have a little faith in me, Zhangjing. How could I ever drop such precious cargo?"

Zhangjing scoffed, subtly adjusting his grip on Yanjun's shoulders. There's no one else around on the streets to see the two of them now, and Zhangjing allowed himself to relax against Yanjun's back, enjoying the comfortable silence as Yanjun brought them both back to their apartment building.

(It's only been five months since they first met at that fated intersection, but Zhangjing is sure: home is wherever Yanjun is.)


	7. Chapter 7

[present time - year X25X]

"You do know that the Lin Yanjun takeout service is supposed to be a special thing, not an everyday thing, right?" Yanjun fake-grumbled into his phone as he adjusted his grip on the bag in his hand.

"Well, you shouldn't have made the offer if you didn't want me to take it." Zhangjing retorted. "Are you here already?"

"Still waiting for the elevator." the elevator bell dinged, doors opening. "See you in a bit." he said, hanging up the call as he entered the elevator. He recognised some of the faces in the elevator - some of Zhangjing's students greeted him, and Yanjun nodded, politely ignoring some of the more interested looks his way.

The doors opened, and Yanjun stepped out on to the ninth floor, walking quickly to Zhangjing's office. "Zhangjing?" he called, knocking on the door.

"Come in!"

If Yanjun had not been powerless, if he was still as attuned to the call of magic as he had been before, then he might have been able to sense that tell-tale magical presence in the air.

(If he had, then - what would he have done?)

"Yanjun, great timing! I want to introduce you to someone," Zhangjing said, missing the way Yanjun had frozen in the doorway the moment his eyes had landed on the taller man standing by Zhangjing's desk.

("Not even a century could erase the pain you've caused me - ")

"Yanjun, this is the professor who I told you returned from that expedition a few days ago," Zhangjing turned to him then - how could he smile so brightly in the presence of this man -

"Yanjun, meet Professor Wang Ziyi."

("Ziyi, please - ")

"Pleasure to meet you," Wang Ziyi said carefully,

Yanjun nodded, stiffly shaking the hand that is offered to him - he withdraws almost immediately, as though his hand had been burned - before turning to Zhangjing. "Sorry, Zhangjing, I just remembered that I have somewhere else to be."

Zhangjing's confused expression is almost comical - Yanjun barely even processed the words leaving Zhangjing's lips as he walked away, away, as far away from that man, as quickly as possible -

"Yanjun!" Zhangjing called after Yanjun, but he didn't respond, disappearing around the corner. "What - what's up with him today?" he murmured, utterly perplexed.

Ziyi watched silently, a sigh full of regret leaving him.

(Just as he had expected.)

* * *

Yanjun refused to admit that anything was wrong.

Zhangjing knew when to stop pushing, so he didn't say anything when Yanjun came up with a hundred different excuses why he couldn't come meet him at the university for lunch.

"You're sure you're not free today either?" Zhangjing asked, looking up from tying his shoelaces. "We don't have to eat on campus grounds. I don't have classes in the afternoon, we could go to that café downtown that you like." Zhangjing offered.

Yanjun made the mistake of looking at Zhangjing's face. Caught under Zhangjing's pleading gaze, Yanjun felt his resolve wavering. It had been a few days since they had lunch together...and Yanjun did want to eat together with him.

"I think I can make it," Yanjun replied carefully. Zhangjing beamed at him, kissing Yanjun's cheek before leaving to the university.

* * *

The moment he saw the crowd of students gathered outside the university, Yanjun knew something was terribly wrong.

Yanjun pushed through the crowd, gritting his teeth in an effort to ignore the way his blood slowly turned to ice with each whisper he heard, real (" - bomb threat - ") and imagined ("You know you're cursed - you know what that curse entails - ") alike - where was Zhangjing?

"Yanjun."

Yanjun yanked his arm away from the familiar touch, whirling around to face the very person he'd been avoiding for the last week (for the last century). "Don't touch me." the words leave his lips before he even thinks them.

The hurt in Ziyi's eyes is not imagined. Yanjun wished he didn't still care.

"Where is Zhangjing?" Yanjun demanded.

"You can't go in there," Ziyi said.

"Tell me he's out here and I won't."

Ziyi shook his head. Yanjun started to run. He didn't get very far - five steps before Ziyi was tackling him, holding him back -

They've done this before: Yanjun can see the glow of fire every time he blinks - he can still smell the smoke, choking, deadly -

_(He was asleep, then the world exploded into chaos and blinding light, far too bright and far too hot._

_The visitors quarters were placed nearer to the gates, but it still took far too long to get everyone out of the buildings - the elderly, the children, the disabled - still, he got them out with only a few minor burns. He was sure at least one adult had noticed that his injuries had already started healing over, but that was something to worry about in the morning._

_His eyes searched the crowd frantically, hoping beyond belief to see that one face -_

_"Please, not like this," the prayer falls from his lips. For the first time in a hundred years, he wants Him to hear him. "Not by fire. He worships you, please don't do this - "_

  
_ (But the die has already been cast, and not even He would interfere with the desire of the Mistress of Fate.)_

_One of the priests let out a cry of anguish as one of the buildings started to collapse, the starving flames devouring away at the wooden foundations. You Zhangjing could be in any one of those buildings._

_Arms wrapped around Yanjun's waist, holding him back even before he decided to run towards the flames. "Ziyi," Yanjun breathed. "Ziyi, let me go."_

_Ziyi shook his head, tightening his grip - holding on to Yanjun even as he struggles against Ziyi. "Ziyi, please - Ziyi, I can still save him! Ziyi, let me go!" Yanjun shouted, but Ziyi still held onto him tightly, even as Yanjun's struggling turned more desperate, more violent -_

_"Please, Ziyi, you have to let me go!")_

"No," Yanjun hissed. "I am not watching him die, Ziyi, not again."

"I'm not letting you get yourself killed for nothing - "

Anger flared up in Yanjun, and he spat: "Zhangjing is not nothing - "

"Answer your phone, Yanjun." Ziyi snapped. "He's calling you."

Yanjun stopped. Ziyi released his grip on him, taking a step back. Yanjun barely glanced at the unknown number on the ringing phone before accepting the call. "Zhangjing?"

"Yes, it's me." Zhangjing answered. "I'm safe, I evacuated with the rest of the students - "

"Where's your phone?"

"Lost it in the evacuation. I think I might have left it on my desk. I'm using my student's phone to call you." Zhangjing replied. "Don't worry, I'm fine, we're on our way out. I'll see you soon, alright?"

"Okay." Yanjun said, and maybe his voice is trembling, but Zhangjing is safe, and that's all that matters. "I love you."

There's no hesitation in Zhangjing's reply: "I love you too."

Yanjun swallowed, pocketing his phone. He turned to Ziyi, who's still watching him cautiously, ready to tackle to the ground at any moment. "You knew." Yanjun said. Ziyi doesn't reply. "If you knew he was fine, then why didn't you just let me go - "

A loud explosion interrupted Yanjun - and a building goes up in flames. It was far enough that none of the now panicking students around Yanjun have been injured by the blast, but Yanjun's ears ring from the explosion. Ziyi's voice could barely be heard over the chaos, but Yanjun could still read his lips:

"Because I'm not letting you get killed for nothing."


	8. Chapter 8

[present time - year X25X]

Yanjun rested his head on Zhangjing's chest, focused on his steady heartbeat, felt the rise and fall of his chest with each breath he inhaled, exhaled -

"Yanjun," Zhangjing breathed. "I read something interesting today." Zhangjing's hand slipped into Yanjun's easily, fitting perfectly - Yanjun held on tight (he wasn't ready to let go of this warmth yet, not yet - ).

"A myth, a story that mothers would tell their children before they slept," Zhangjing continued. "A fairy tale of a beautiful, magical garden. Eden, the garden of the gods - and in this sacred garden, there would be a great tree with leaves of silver and apples of gold."

"It is said that when eaten, these golden apples would grant the eater the gift of immortal life," Zhangjing murmured, absentmindedly running his fingers through Yanjun's hair - not showing any sign that he had noticed how Yanjun had gone rigid at his words. "Can you imagine such a thing like that? What a sight that tree would be."

_(Imagination could never compare to the real thing, Yanjun didn't say. He couldn't tell Zhangjing how glorious the Immortality Apples had looked in person, how beautifully the golden fruits had shone from their branches, how sweet they smelled, the brief sense of relief and joy he had felt -_

_He couldn't tell him how he had felt when the guards discovered him in that forbidden garden, when they had ripped the apple (that he had risked everything for, trying to steal it from Eden - because he was too weak, because he couldn't let Zhangjing die, because there was no other way - ) from his hands, when they had dragged him away from that tree for his punishment - )_

The golden seal on his chest throbbed.

"Immortality," Zhangjing sighed. "Why would anyone want that for themselves?"

Yanjun raised his head, meeting Zhangjing's gaze. "You... don't want immortality?" Yanjun asked slowly. Zhangjing shook his head.

"But why?" Yanjun asked. "You would be eternally young, you would never have to suffer the pains of growing old - You would have eternity to learn everything you wanted to about the world. You would be there to experience all the events of the world, first hand, rather than through deciphering half complete texts of languages and cultures long lost."

("You would have eternity with me," Yanjun doesn't say.)

"Don't you want that?" Yanjun pressed.

For a brief moment, Zhangjing's eyes wavered. "That does sound tempting." Zhangjing admitted quietly. "But no, I don't want to be immortal."

("Not even with me?")

"Why not?" Yanjun asked, throat dry.

Zhangjing's arms tighten around Yanjun as he whispered: "I don't want to have to watch everyone I love die."

Now that, Yanjun understood all too well.

(The thought had never crossed Yanjun's mind before, he had never thought it a possibility - but if Yanjun had been successful in stealing that golden apple, if Zhangjing had eaten it -

If Yanjun gave him immortality - even if it was to save his life - would Zhangjing have resented him for it?)

"I heard that Ziyi had to tackle you to the ground to keep you from running into campus." Zhangjing murmured.

"I couldn't find you." Yanjun said softly. "I was scared that I would lose you."

Zhangjing was silent for a moment, fingers gently carding through Yanjun's hair. "I know." Zhangjing whispered. "But promise me that you will never do that again."

Yanjun brought Zhangjing's hand to his lips, pressed a kiss to Zhangjing's knuckles - the same way he had all those lifetimes ago, when he had sworn fealty to a prince _(a prince whom he had failed)_ \- a silent promise.

"I'll hold you to that promise, Yanjun." Zhangjing murmured. "Don't you forget it."

"Never." Yanjun vowed.

* * *

Yanjun sat at his usual table in his favourite café, watching as the raindrops fell from the sky. Seven minutes after the rain started, a familiar someone slipped into the seat next to him. "Did you know?" Yanjun asked, not even looking at him.

"Yes." Ziyi replied. "From the very beginning until now, he has never changed his mind."

"Is that why you tried to dissuade me from stealing the apple?"

"One of the reasons, yes." Ziyi poured himself a cup of tea. "Not the main reason, but yes."

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Yanjun asked, finally turning to him.

Ziyi peered at him over the rim of his teacup with those knowing eyes. "Would you have listened to me?" he asked.

Yanjun looked away, his silence louder than anything else he could have said.

"He's mortal, Yanjun." Ziyi reminded him, not to be cruel, but to prepare him for what was to come. "Just because the bomb wasn't meant for him, this does not mean that his time won't come. You have to be prepared to let him go."

Yanjun let out a short laugh. "It's been centuries, Ziyi. I've gone through this more times than I can count, and if there's one thing I've learned, Ziyi: It's that no matter what I do, I will never be prepared to let Zhangjing go."

"Just as he hasn't changed, neither have I." Yanjun said, getting to his feet. Ziyi watched him as he left, walking out into the pouring rain.

"Unfortunately," Ziyi murmured. "I know that too."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope your tissues are ready.
> 
> warning: blood, injuries, and death up ahead.

[present time - year X26X]

"I can't wait to introduce you to my parents," Zhangjing said happily, dragging his luggage bag over to where Yanjun was loading up the car with their things. The semester break was here, which meant two weeks off for Zhangjing.

They had been talking about going to visit Zhangjing's family for a while now: "My mom has only talked to you through a computer screen and she already loves you." Zhangjing grumbled, heaving the heavy bag into the trunk.

"Jingyu is also going to be going back, but her break starts a couple of days later, which means! I get to be the only child at home for three days." Zhangjing cackled.

Yanjun shook his head in amusement, a smile spreading across his face as he listened to Zhangjing's excited ramblings. "It's going to be a six hour drive, you ready to go?" Yanjun asked.

"Yep!" Zhangjing pulled out a bag, filled with snacks and two matching water bottles. "I even got that bread you like so much. You sure you're okay with driving?"

"Yeah," Yanjun said, starting the car. "You charged your phone, right?" Zhangjing nodded, showing him the full battery icon on his phone screen. "Alright then, Mr Navigator, please make sure we keep to the correct roads so we don't have to take any detours - "

"That was just one time, Yanjun, oh my god," Zhangjing protested. "I'll make sure to pay attention this time. Just trust me, and we'll get there before dinnertime."

"Alright, then," Yanjun smiled. "Let's go."

* * *

Yanjun took every precaution he could - he drove within the speed limits, he looked both ways before moving, he was careful -

The drunk driver in the car that rammed them off the highway wasn't.

* * *

Yanjun came to with a pained groan, and almost immediately wished he hadn't. His chest ached as he sucked in a breath - how many ribs had he broken from that fall? How far had they even fallen?

"Jun?" Zhangjing said, voice barely louder than a whisper.

Yanjun reached for Zhangjing's hand, giving it a careful squeeze. "I'm here." he said. "Everything is going to be fine, baobei, okay?"

Zhangjing shook his head, and only then, does Yanjun notice the sharp metal and the ever-growing crimson stain on Zhangjing's torso.

It didn't take much medical knowledge to know that Zhangjing wouldn't make it. And Zhangjing knew it.

"Yanjun," Zhangjing hissed, grip momentarily tightening on Yanjun's hand as he grit his teeth against the pain. "Yanjun, there's something I need to tell you."

"Don't." Yanjun cut in. "Whatever it is, you can tell me afterwards, okay? You're not going to die - "

"Yanjun,_ I remember you._" Zhangjing interrupted. "I remember the first time we met - you asked me if I was an angel, because you couldn't believe that a human could have a voice like that."

Yanjun stared as Zhangjing let out a choked laugh. "Ever since I moved to this town, I've had dreams of you: of your face, of your voice - I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw you at that pedestrian crossing."

"Zhangjing - "

"I'm not afraid to die, Yanjun." Zhangjing said, offering a watery smile to Yanjun. "B-because I know, even if I have to leave, I'll see you again when I come back."

"No matter how many times I have to leave," Zhangjing whispered, raising a trembling hand to touch a still frozen Yanjun's cheek. "I'll always come back to you."

Yanjun reached up, grabbing on to Zhangjing's hand. "We will always find each other again." Zhangjing promised.

Yanjun pressed a kiss to Zhangjing's palm. "I'll hold you to that promise, You Zhangjing." Yanjun whispered.

And with a final smile, Zhangjing was gone.

* * *

Ziyi appeared two minutes later. "Let's get you out of there," he said, forcing the mangled car door open.

"No." Yanjun said.

"You need immediate medical attention, Yanjun. A normal mortal in your position would have died on impact." Ziyi continued. "If I don't heal you now - "

"Then I die." Yanjun said softly. "I know."

"Yanjun - "

"Ziyi," Yanjun pleaded. "Please. You need to let me go."

"Yanjun, I can't just - "

"It's okay, Ziyi. Just let me go."

Yanjun could see the unshed tears glistening in Ziyi's eyes: "I don't want to lose you." Ziyi said softly.

"I'll come back," Yanjun promised.

"You don't know that for sure."

"I will." Yanjun smiled faintly. "I still have to make sure Zhangjing keeps his promise to me." Yanjun reached out a hand, which Ziyi grasped tightly. "We will always find each other again." Yanjun echoed Zhangjing's final promise. "Zhangjing made me this promise, and now - I make this promise to you. We will always find each other again." he said, gripping Ziyi's hand tightly as the other struggled to see through the tears blurring his vision.

Finally, Ziyi nodded reluctantly. A light warmth radiated from Ziyi's palm into Yanjun's body: "To ease the pain," Ziyi whispered.

"Thank you, brother." Yanjun sighed, and Ziyi couldn't hold his tears back any longer, letting them fall freely like the raindrops that began to fall from the sky as Yanjun's hand went limp in his.

"From water you came to be in this world," Ziyi forced out. "By water will your sins be washed away, so your soul may be born anew."

"May you find happiness in your next life, brother."

~

[50 years later]

"Alright, that's all for today's session," the young music teacher announced, to the relief of his student. "Remember to practice your scales and I expect you to have learned that piece by next week!" he called as his student rushed out of the practice room. Zhangjing shook his head as he watched his last student for the afternoon leave.

Well, now that he was gone, time for some practice of his own, Zhangjing thought, taking his seat at the piano. 'What should I play today..."

His fingers danced across the keys, playing a song that somehow he just knew, even though he had no memory of ever hearing it before. He had tried to find out what it was called, yet so far, no one seemed to have heard it before.

As the final notes faded away, the door opened. "Excuse me," a voice that tugged at the edges of Zhangjing's mind - _how did he know this voice?_ "Was that you, playing the piano just now?"

"Ah, I'm sorry, did I disturb you - " Zhangjing's voice trailed off as he stared at the man standing before him - his hair was bleached white, but there was something about that piercing gaze -

"No." The stranger who wasn't a stranger said immediately. "No, you - that song. What song was that?"

"I- I don't know what it's called," Zhangjing replied. "Have you heard it before?"

"Yes, but... only in a dream." the handsome man blurted out, before laughing awkwardly. "I mean. I'm sure I've heard it before somewhere, how else could it have popped up in a dream - "

Zhangjing laughed. "Don't worry, I know what you mean."

The man smiled in relief, and oh, he had dimples _(but of course he would have them, he's always had them, even before - )_

"I'm You Zhangjing, by the way," Zhangjing said, offering his hand.

He takes his hand, and both of them pretend they don't feel the spark of something like electricity when they touch.

(Or maybe it's just feeling of a promise made in a past lifetime being fulfilled.)

"Lin Yanjun. It's a pleasure to meet you, Zhangjing."

_(They are home.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and it's finally done!!! I hoped you all enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it (and i hope you had enough tissues, ares). to my prompter, i hope this lived up to expectations. thank you to the members of the twt groupchat (you know who you are, bbys <3) for being there, ily all.
> 
> find me on twitter: @zhangjunftw (https://mobile.twitter.com/zhangjunftw)

**Author's Note:**

> playlist while writing  
\- beautiful crime - tamer  
\- fear - svt  
\- war of hearts - ruelle  
\- still here - digital daggers  
\- silhouette - aquilo  
\- mr sandman - syml  
\- cloud - elias  
\- deja vu - dreamcatcher  
\- 手掌心 - Della 丁噹  
\- fate - lee sun hee


End file.
